Adios Facebook...

...because I have a book to write, and this is how it's going so far: 

Perhaps you, too, remember the days of eschewing the very notion of Facebook.  Really, we would ask around the circle of people older than 21, who needs to know what we are doing every minute of the day? Who cares?  And so, I resisted The Facebook until Summer 2009...when I only signed on so I could share vacation pictures with friends.

Uh huh.  

Soon I stopped calling it The Facebook. Very soon after that, I realized I was starting conversations with friends by saying, "Saw your post..." and, "What? You didn't know that?  Get on Facebook!"

Oy vey.

I have learned of pregnancies, deaths, births, engagements, job losses, break ups, and anniversaries on Facebook.  I have kept up with recipes, movies, good causes, and bad jokes.  I have bragged about my children, brayed about my politics, swooned over travelogues, wept over docmentaries, and cheered birthdays of near strangers.  I'm not saying it's all bad, but it's honestly become a bit all-consuming. 

In the days before Facebook, this is how a writing day would go for me:

• drink coffee
• glance at headlines
• check email
• dress
• write 10 sentences
• drink more coffee
• eat an apple or cookie, depending on my level of self awareness/self pity
• water the plants
• delete 7 of the aforementioned sentences, write 10 more
• start at coffee and repeat for at least five hours...

Here's what happens now:

• drink coffee
• glance at headlines
• check email and Words with Friends and Facebook
• click on every shiny link that calls to me
• wander around the Internet for five hours
• freak out when I see it's 4:30 pm and I'm still not dressed
• grieve the book that isn't writing itself while I hang out with my Facebook friends...

Oh.  And did I mention how many days I also have a bill for $100 or more because one of those shiny links has taken me to, say, Christie Brinkley's face product page and I've succumbed to the promise that in two weeks, with Christie's products, I'll look just like her?  (No, I'm not hyper-linking to Christie Brinkley's product page, but I'm not lying about that). 

So I am officially on haitus from Facebook - or more realistically stated, I'm grounded from Facebook until my book is finished. 

Please, please, please my real friends...if someone you love dies or gets married or has a baby or loses a job or has an operation, a birthday, a starring role in a play, a super bowl commercial...call me.  Or email me.  I am not leaving the planet Earth, just Facebook.  I still have time for friends, just not Christie Brinkley, et al. 

And don't hesitate to check back in here at Finger Stretching from time to time if you miss me. 

Whew.  Who knew it would be this hard to say goodbye? 

Now.  Back to work.